One More Chance
by Cassiesmum02
Summary: What if Jax got a choice? SPOILERS FOR SEASON 7 FINALE.
1. Chapter 1

_I have never written anything like this, I don't know my feelings of the afterlife, I've never thought about it enough to make any decisions but here's a little thing that was holding my brain hostage._

The last thing he remembered was the huge silver grill of the truck heading straight towards him, then nothing. Blinking his eyes awake he has several long seconds of complete confusion. With the way he lived, any thoughts of the afterlife for him normally came with images of fire, brimstone, lava and the screams of those he'd killed, tortured and injured just by breathing. What Jackson Teller was not expecting was to be sitting upright in an office chair in a completely white office, even the ink in the pen he absentmindedly picked up seemed to be white.

A door slams behind him and a voice he hadn't expected to hear again, ever, reaches his ears "You owe me more than you know."

Spinning around his eyes land on the almost identical pair on a face the same age as his own "Dad?"

JT stalks around the desk, disbelief and annoyance radiating from every pore of his body towards his son "Yeah, and do you know how many favours I had to pull in to get your case. Let alone how many people I now _owe_ in order to get you one shot at redemption."

Jax swallows, the emotions in his fathers' eyes are plainly readable, the love is there, but it's buried deeply under regret, sadness, horror and guilt. "Redemption? I'm a criminal who in my last days of life killed; or arranged the deaths of; a former police officer, my own mother, two gang land bosses, including one from the IRA, and multiple others. And I get a shot at redemption? Did you promise your first born sons soul."

JT chuckles softly "You are my first born and I'm fighting _for_ your soul, not selling it. You have some people pulling strings for you up here son. And they're not just tugging lightly, they're throwing their whole beings behind getting you one chance at the future you so desperately wanted for yourself and your family."

JT looks down at the desk, seeming to read something on a page, before turning it over and continuing, his eyes darting from side to side over a white on white page. "Hmm. So you get to choose from any of the turning points in your life, a point where things could have gone either way. You get to go back to that time and change your mind."

Jax blinks in stunned disbelief. "But I killed myself?"

JT laughs, his breath coming in gasping inhalations by the time he stops, his face red under the beard that's neatly trimmed along his jawline. Lifting his hand he rests his chin on his fingers "And so because of that you should have eternal suffering." At his sons nod he chuckles again "It doesn't work like that. Don't believe everything you read. There is a system, yes." He sighs at the searching for information look that lands on Jax's face "You want to know?"

Jax nods, leaning back in the chair, not so much wanting the information, just the time to sit at look at his father. To hear the man who should have been around his whole life speak. To absorb the feeling of having his father impart knowledge onto him.

"The system really is very simple. In order for someone to be considered for access one person has to nominate them, a second has to agree and their admittance has to then be passed by a group of anywhere between 15 to 150 people. The more people consider you, the 'worst' your actions on earth are deemed to be."

Jax snorts "I bet I had 151 people."

JT shakes his head "Contrary to what you think right now you're actions are not as bad as some of those that have passed through our doors. Some don't even make it to the assessment point before they're sent to the never." JT shudders "That's what we call that which isn't here. It's nowhere. Darkness and blankness everywhere. After a while that nothingness drives people to the brink of insanity. That's when they're given one more chance, a chance to look at their lives, and if they feel sufficient remorse they're allowed to go to Limbo."

Jax's brain twists, his mind trying to comprehend that somehow in the craziness of his last few days, weeks, months, years , he's managed to get people who still love him. "Am allowed to ask who spoke up for me?"

JT shakes his head "No. There are messages for you though. Brief ones but here they are; 'I'm sorry baby.'" Jax knows instantly that Tara sent him that message. She'd be saying sorry for dying, sorry for not fighting more, sorry for lying about the baby, the letters, the deal, Kohn but those three words are all she said so Jax takes what he can from them.

"Your second message is 'Love you bro.' That came from two people."

Jax nods, the images of Opie's smiling face and Thomas when he was having a good day popping into his brain as he blinks.

"The last message is the longest and the one I second wholeheartedly. 'You did good son. You did what JT wanted and he's proud of you." JT shakes his head as Jax grins.

"Piney told me that I needed to follow your words." Jax tells his father "I'm not surprised he's here with you. I'm sorry about what happened to him."

JT shakes his head "Don't worry about it. Piney can breathe without help, he can drink as much Patron as he wants as long as his son is occupied. But we only have a specific amount of time here. You have about ten minutes before you have to decide so start thinking now where you'd like to go back to. If you can't think of a situation, I'll pick one. Either way when you get to the crossroads I will make one choice easier than the one you originally picked. You will be able to bypass it if you choose. With any luck you'll pick the right way and we won't meet again for another 50 years at least."

Jax leans back in his chair, thinking of the forks in the road of his life. Going backwards he can see the most obvious ones. Killing Marks, Barosky, Roarke, Unser, his own mother in the last 48 hours of his life. The battles with the Chinese, the Cartels, Zobelle, Darby. The blood that drips of his hands at the thought of the lives he's taken for the sake of his club. But then he stumbles onto something that makes his heart stop. His family and their destruction because of the patch. His brothers that have lost their lives. The innocent ones; Opie, Otto, Bobby, Piney, Filthy Phil, West, Kozik. Then the ones that he thought deserved it; Juice, Miles, Clay, Gogo, Greg the Peg, Frankie, Hobart. Looking over the desk his thoughts stop at the death that started it all, his own father.

Jax swallows, his mind made up when JT looks up, his eyes cloudy. "As much as I'd love to be able to say we can go back then we can't." Jax opens his mouth to protest but JT shakes his head and lifts a hand "I'd like to be able to go back to the day I died and start again, but it's one choice you can't make. It was my death and I did have the chance to redo my life, to see how things would have gone differently but I didn't want to."

Jax feels a crushing weight of disappointment but before he can open his mouth JT comes around the desk, dragging his chair "It wasn't that I didn't want to be with you, but Thomas was here, he needed me more than you did. And you can't pick your brother dying. Nothing you would have done, or could have done, would have changed that. He died because of his heart, that wasn't fixable. I'm sorry son, but you have to pick something else."

Jax nods, his knee pressed against his father's seems to ground him and his brain searches further back Donna's death, bringing Abel back from Ireland, marrying Wendy, the hundreds of other women he slept with, patching in, prospecting, dropping out of school. His eyes close and when he opens them again he nods "I know which fork I want, and I know how I want to change it."

JT nods, a huge smile on his face "Good luck." Standing up he turns towards the door and moves his fingers towards a bright red button that appeared as he stood up halting suddenly when Jax jumps to his feet.

"What happens to everyone that's died since I made that decision?" He asks, a lump in his throat "And what about those that have been born."

JT drops his hand "Those that have been born get put back into the 'cue' so to speak. They will still be born, it may not be to the same parents, or in the same country, but they will still be born right on their soul's schedule. Those that have died come back to the place they were when your choice was made. Yes, this does make many alternate realities, but we up need something to occupy ourselves with between meetings like this."

Jax frowns once more "Meetings like this one happen once every few weeks, with the amount of people who die that's still dozens of alternate realities for us to watch. It's like our own TV shows which never end."

Nodding Jax shuffles his feet "What do I do?"

JT smiles and hugs his son tightly "You do nothing. I push this button and you end up at your crossroads. You won't remember any of this but I will be watching you son. I'm proud of you."

Jax throws his arms around his father "I know you do. I'm sorry I couldn't do what you wanted sooner."

JT laughs "You did it though. Now you get another chance." A huge gonging sound echoes through the room and JT sighs "That's our time up. I'll see you again."

His fingers caress the button "I love you son." His fingers depress the button and all Jax sees for a split second is a blinding white light.

Almost 18 year old Jackson Teller stretched in his bed, his mother's voice having woken him "Jax, breakfast is ready and you're meant to be at TM in an hour."

Sighing he pulls himself from his bed, the goatee he'd decided to grow itching slightly but his girlfriend seemed to love it so he stuck with it. A smile crosses his face at the thought of the good-girl Tara Knowles and that the first man (and only man he swears viciously to himself) she'd chosen to be with was as far from good as black was from white. A soon–to-be leather wearing prospect for the Sons of Anarchy Redwood Original motorcycle club. Glancing at his clock he swears under his breath "They won't let me prospect if I'm late."

His stepfather had laid down ironclad rules for him, be at TM every day from the day he dropped out of school till he turned 18 then he'd be given the prospect patch, provided he earned it. His 18 months earning the privilege to be considered for the patch had been hard. Up at 5am every morning to be at TM by 6, not home till well after 1am every morning had been hard, but between his best friend, Opie, and himself they'd managed it. Now they were both 3 days from their prospect votes and Jax couldn't wait. He knew that the prospecting would be just as hard as the proving himself, but he was looking forward to it. Now if only Tara would calm down about it.

Throwing the blankets off his leg he stands up and scratches his stomach absently searching for clean jeans.

For some reason that afternoon he and Opie are given the evening free of anything, both told to vanish at 4pm Jax barely takes a second before pulling his work shirt off and heading out of the garage.

Throwing his leg over his bike as he fires it up he grins, the feeling he gets every time he does this will never get old. His brain compares it to sex, that first morning cigarette and coffee combination, waking up after a good night's sleep, the high from top quality weed that his mother always leaves around. Starting his bike he takes the familiar roads to his girlfriends' house, stopping in her driveway as the door slams open.

Tara runs across the grass, her hair flying behind her, the tiny shorts and singlet she's wearing sending a jolt of lust straight from his brain to his crotch as he turns the bike off "Hi." He barely manages to get the words out before Tara's arms are around his neck, her legs around his waist and her lips glued to his.

After a rather enthusiastic good morning kiss Tara sets her feet on the ground with a faint blush "Sorry about that, I heard you arrive and felt like I hadn't seen you in months."

Jax chuckles, throwing his arm around her neck and tugging her towards the house "No need to say sorry about that welcome. You can do that every day when we have our own place."

Tara chuckles, the sound becoming strange in the middle of the noise "About that."

Jax lifts one eyebrow as she pours coffee into two cups, handing him one as she drops bread into the toaster "What, are you having second thoughts about getting a place?"

Tara shakes her head, her eyes wide and shining "No. That's not it at all. I have something I have to tell you."

Pulling a thick letter from behind the bread bin she turns towards him, her teeth grabbing her bottom lip nervously "I got accepted to medical school." She pauses "In Chicago."

"Chicago, as in Chicago Illinois?" Tara nods and he frowns "That' s over 30 hours away babe. I wouldn't be able to see you, not once I prospect."

Tara nods again and pushes the letter towards him "I want you to come with me. Leave Charming and everything behind. I know you can't see it but Charming is poison baby."

Jax shakes his head "I can't. I can't leave the club, my mom, Opie."

Tara's eyes flash dangerously "But you can leave me?"

Jax narrows his eyes, his voice rising as he speaks "It's not me leaving, it's you."

Tara grabs his hands before he can leave and lifts them to her chest "Please Jax. Please come with me. I'm leaving at 10pm in two days. Think about it, please?"

Jax nods, spins on his heel and leaves, all thoughts of a quite ride and a burger with his girlfriend escaping his head in favour for the anger that Tara could leave so easily.

48 hours passed incredibly slowly for Jax. He was irritable at TM, snapping at everyone, everyone noticed but it was Opie who told him to pull his head out before he got fired, and refused the patch. Jax considered telling him his troubles but decided at the last minute not to. As the minutes ticked down towards the time Tara had said she was leaving Jax's mind was split in two, half of him wanting to stay right where he was in Charming. TM and the Sons in his future like a prewritten destiny while the other half wanted to leave with Tara, see what Chicago had to offer and how his life would turn out. At 8pm Clay finally had enough and snapped at him and Opie to get out of his sight before he used their heads as toilet brushes.

Riding home he pauses at the intersection where he could turn left to go to Tara's or right to go home, back to his mothers and the dinner she would have made. To listen to her talk about JT and how proud he would be of Jax and the patch he'll soon have. Blinking slowly a series of images that make no sense to Jax burn into his eyelids with each blink. Short videos of people he knows dying start playing behind his eyelids. Donna being shot by Tig. Opie dying in prison blue. Otto being shot by corrections officers. Himself holding a smoking gun over the corpses of Unser, Clay and his mother. A man he's never seen before standing behind Bobby with a gun in his hand, Bobby missing the fingers on one hand and an eye. The last image burns deeply into his retina's, blinking rapidly the image of his mother standing over Tara's body refuses to be moved. Shaking his head to clear the images he feels a sense of dread and fear flood his veins. The people whose pale ghostly faces he'd seen all have others with them. All bar one. Making up his mind he turns towards Tara's house, choosing her over everyone else he'd seen.

She's walking towards her Cutlass with a suitcase in her hand and looks up as he pulls in behind it. A soft smile flicks across her face but refuses to stay "Are you okay Jax?"

He nods and turns his bike off, crossing to her and pulling the suitcase from her hand. Setting it down on the ground he cups her hands between his palms and kisses her lips softly. "I love you."

Tara nods "I know. I love you too. Did you come to say goodbye?"

Jax shakes his head, wrapping his arms around her waist "You know that since I was five all I wanted was a Harley and a kutte."

Tara chuckles "Yeah I know. You told me that."

Jax nuzzles his nose into her hair "Well I want you more. I'm coming with you. Are you ready to go?"

Tara stills in her arms "You mean it?" At his nod she looks around "What about your stuff?"

Jax shakes his head "Half my clothes are already in your room, knowing you you've boxed them up?" Tara nods and he chuckles "Well then I'm fine. What's at Ma's can stay there. The bike can stay here. I don't need it. I'll ring Ope and get him to come pick it up. He can have it as a spare, or sell it."

The sight of Tara's battered and bloody body had shaken Jax to a place he didn't know existed. Grabbing her suitcase he jams it in the boot and slams it closed "What else is there?"

Tara points towards the door "Your stuff and my backpack."

Jax follows her to collect the mentioned items, pushing them into the backseat before hugging Tara again, kissing her till she's breathless. "Lets go."

Tara nods "Yep. Time to leave this toxic little town in the rear view. Thank you Jax."

Jax laughs as he starts the car, grabbing her hand and kissing her fingers "There was never a question babe. I want you more than I want a Harley, more than I want a Kutte. I need you as much as oxygen, and I need that to survive; just like I need you."


	2. Chapter 2

_I was going to make this a one shot, but another idea came to me. I don't think they're will be anymore._

Tara looked down at her hands, the skin looks nothing like what she saw at the end of her arms the last time she washed her hands. The skin which had been wrinkled and discoloured with age is now as smooth as it was when she was 20 and just starting medical school.

The clearing of a throat above her startles her and her head snaps up, looking into a familiar pair of blue eyes on a face which is only known to her from photos "JT?"

John Teller smiles and nods "Not who you were expecting to see?" 

Tara shakes her head bewildered, looking around the room, it's walls are covered with paintings and photos that she recognises. "How?" She stands up off the soft brown chair and walks towards the wall "How did you get these?"

The images she's looking at were hung with care all over the walls of her room at the retirement home just hours ago "And where am I?"

JT walks to her side and rests his hand on her shoulder "You know where you are. Or rather you know where you're _not_."

Tara sniffs "I died didn't I?"

JT nods and pats her hand lightly "You did. If it helps you're children were there, and your grandchildren."

Tara smiles softly "Okay. So why am I here, instead of wherever we go. Or is this the afterlife, an office?"

JT laughs "Not at all, I'm here to give you a heads up quickly before you move through the door behind me." 

Tara looks behind him and suddenly she can see the outline of a door in one of the two blank spaces in the walls "Why do I need a heads up? What happened to me?" 

JT shakes his head "It's not what happened to you, it's what happened to Jax."

Tara's heart stops "What? He died years ago. Why is there a problem?"

JT leads her to the chair and sits her down "There isn't a problem, it's rather complicated."

Tara laughs "I think I can handle complicated, I'm a doctor and neonatal surgeon after all."

JT holds up a hand in surrender "I know what you did as a job. I've been watching you since you caught my sons eye."

Tara blushes and JT laughs lightly "I didn't watch anything that was beyond PG rated. Trust me, I love my son but I don't want to see him doing that. Jax had two lives, he had two lots of memories up till a point and he had to sort through his other life. The one where he didn't move to Chicago with you."

Tara frowns again, her eyebrows almost meeting between her confused looking eyes "What do you mean a life where he didn't move to Chicago. We moved there when we were 17. How did he have another life?"

JT shrugs "This is where it may shock you. Jackson Teller originally died at the age of 35. His bike hit a semi on 580 just outside of Charming."

Tara feels tears welling in her eyes at the thought of Jax dead so young "Why?" She stutters out as a few tears trail down her cheeks. "Tell me about that life so I know why he died."

JT pauses for a few long seconds while he considers his words "I can give you your memories of that life, or I can tell you where it changed and what happened in both your lives."

Tara wipes her cheeks with her hands and nods "Tell me. I don't want memories that aren't mine."

"They were your memories. They were the memories of your life if one event had gone differently, but I will tell you. It's a long story so relax." Tara leans back in the seat and crosses one leg over the other, her hands falling to her lap before she nods and JT clears his throat.

"That day you left for Chicago, Jax didn't show up. He never left Charming with you. Instead he and Opie both prospected into the Sons and were fully patched before they were 19. Jax become quiet a womaniser, sleeping with hundreds of women. When Jax was 27 he married a Reno stripper he had become bedmates with while on frequent runs. She had a very nasty drug habit and over the following 2 years the pair parted and reconsiled and she went through treatment several times before she finally became pregnant. Jax was sure this would be her sign to clean up for once and for all. She didn't have the willpower too and almost overdosed when she was 7 months pregnant. Their son was born 10 weeks premature, with the family flaw and a whole slew of other problems. With the help of an incredibly capable surgeon their son survived several surgeries and was discharged at 4 months old. Jax was incredibly thankful that his ex girlfriend had become a doctor and then decided to return to her childhood home."

Tara's brain is already swimming but she knows this is just the start, married to a stripper from reno with a drug habit, a son with heart problems and that it was her that saved his life. Taking a few minutes to digest that knowledge she nods once and JT continues.

"A problem followed you from Chicago in the form of Josh Kohn an ATF agent you had been dating for a year until he became abusive and you fled. Kohn attempted to rape you but you injured him and rang Jax for help, when he arrived Kohn said something that angered Jax beyond rational thought and he killed the ATF agent in your bedroom. Following this Jax and yourself rekindled your romance for in truth neither of you ever stopped loving each other."

JT stops and leaves a further minute of silence while Tara sniffs and dries her eeyes again. "It's very difficult to sum up the following events but in the course of 5 years since your return to Charming the pair of you were affected by a number of deaths. Donna Winston and David Hale to start with, there were members of the SAMCRO which were killed during this time as well, and members of other gangs you'd be familiar with the names of but not the members. Jax and yourself had a son, a younger brother for the boy who's life you saved." Tara nods and JT smiles sadly "An event happened which shook Jax to the core, I won't give you more details than you need but Jax discovered you in the kitchen of the house you shared, you'd been murdered."

Tara gasps, thinking how much this would have hurt Jax, that he couldn't protect her in the house they shared. JT allows her several more minutes silence while her brain comprehends that her life wasn't as long in Jax's original life as they had been in the one she had just fallen asleep in.

JT clears his throat again and picks up a pen from the desk in front of him "Jax was hellbent on discovering who killed you and avenging your death. In the process over 3 dozen people were killed, including people he considered family, before he discovered the truth. You'd been murdered by a member of his family in a fit of rage. Jax delt with that information as the Jax from that life knew how. He killed the people in his way, and then your murderer. In the process of exacting his revenge Jax killed a president of a fellow club, leading to what is called a 'Mayhem vote' in the Sons. It's a vote from a charter..."

Tara cuts him off "I know what a mayhem vote is. It's when the club votes to kill one of their own."

JT nods "Jax told you?"

Tara nods and snorts "Jax told me everything he knew about the Sons and the way they worked."

"Good. The mayhem vote came back that Jax needed to die. He knew that was how it would come back, he ordered his charter to vote in favour. He'd decided that he truly couldn't live without you anymore. Regardless of his children needing him, they had his now clean first wife. Who you became close to after she finally went through rehab and it stuck. She never tried to be the mother to your first son, she knew she didn't deserve that title. With the Mayhem vote done he then finished what he'd started, pulling the Sons completely away from the IRA and their guns and cutting any loose ends that were still hanging around before he died the same way I did. Death by trucker."

Tara sobs into her hands, the tears seeming to run endlessly as she considers what she's just been told and how different it was to her actual life. "And all this came from one change?"

JT nods "When Jax decided to go with you he broke the other timeline, you know how your life was. Jax ended up right where you are after he died and he made a choice to revisit one moment and change it."

Tara stands up and walks back to the wall of photos, her eyes drifting over images she recognises like her own reflection.

The day her and Jax arrived in Chicago after two days of solid driving, neither of them wanting to stop so they'd slept in the car as they went. An exhausted looking pair leaning on the bonnet of her Cutlass parked outside a three story house, visible in the background the skyline of Chicago.

1 year after they arrived, Jax on one knee with a red velvet box in his hand, her with tears streaming down her cheeks and a huge smile on her face.

Another 18 months after that. Her and Jax standing in the backyard of the house from the first photo. Her in a white strapless dress and he standing there in black dress pants and a white button up shirt, the crowd behind them made up of class mates of hers and his co-workers.

4 years later, a heavily pregnant Tara leaning against the wall outside a single story house. Jax looking exhausted beside her while he holds a box with 'finally moved in' written across the side in her writing, a huge smily face under it.

10 years later, Tara and Jax in the same place, four children at their sides. Their 6 year old daughter Emma. Twin four year old sons Thomas and John and Harry, their 14 month old baby, the slight swell of another pregnancy starting at Tara's mid-section.

2 years later Tara sitting on the hood of a car, five children and two dogs at her feet. Jax leaning against the side smiling at her, a trace of grey starting at his temples.

A Christmas photo, Jax's hair short and completely grey, Tara's short hair streaked with grey both sitting on a sofa while their five children stand behind them, 12 grandchildren in various positions on the floor, from the oldest at 11 who's glaring at the 2 month old baby who's screaming her lungs out.

A huge photo with 'Happy 50th Anniversary' plastered across it. Jax looking tired, his face wrinkled and his forehead gaining ground each day. Tara's hair now completely white, her worried eyes fastened on her husbands pale face.

Turning to the two last photos that grace the wall Tara stiffles a sob as another tear runs down her cheek. Her sitting in a hardbacked chair, her face streaked with tears and her swollen and red eyes fastened on a pale wood coffin, the plaque on the top reading:

'Jackson Nathaniel Teller

12-09-1978 – 03-10-2057'

The last photo is the one that breaks her composure completely. Herself as she was the last time she looked in a mirror. Her 100th birthday card beside her bed. Her hands frail looking, the right gripped between the fingers of her great-great grand-daughter while the rest of her family stands around. The urn with Jax's ashes inches from her left hand. What strikes her the most is the smile that's on her face, it's the same one she's seen in each of the previous photos, a smile of complete happiness and satisfaction.

Turning to JT she smiles knowing that her life was full and happy and she owes everything she had to his son. "Where is my husband?"

JT chuckles "He's through the door, he's been most impatiently waiting for you for the last 21 years."

Tara brushes past JT, pausing with her hand on the doorhandle "What happens to you now?"

JT lifts a hand and pulls open a draw, retrieving a folder and setting it in the exact centre of the desk "Now, I get to come with you. If that's okay?"

Tara nods; her hands, strong and youthful, capable of the smallest of actions to save lives held towards him "Come on then JT, your son is waiting." 

JT laughs "Actually they're both waiting, but I know you want to see one more than the other." Pushing the door open he waves her through.

Tara's cry of joy echoes into the now empty room as the door drifts closed. The latch catching with a soft snick and the folder on the desk erupting into flames, the front cover drifting up with the heat, a list of hundreds of turning points in the life of Jackson Teller visible for a split second, a slash of red pen around the fork he picked and 'the ideal road' written beside it.

_That really is it...I think!_


End file.
